Download and print your own copy of the Fattylympics Programme (.pdf, 914kb), or pick one up on the day.

Progamme of events

12.00 – 13.00 Welcome!
Get yourselves settled-in, grab a plate of food from Soirai's Fattylympics Café, listen to Hannah's fiddle, spend all your money on the stalls, do some colouring-in, and have your picture taken with those loveable rogues, Egg'n'Spoon. Join Vivacious von Vixen as she bends and thrusts her way through some Chubrobics in an energising warm-up.

13.00 – 13.30 Fattylympics Opening Ceremony
We will start the ceremony by clanging the West Ham Memorial Park Sculpture – listen out! There will then be a short welcome speech, and we will sing the Fattylympics Anthem together. Following this, we will present a mass show of disrespect in the direction of the Olympic Park. The Fattylympics Torch will arrive, we'll parade for a bit, and then out Guest of Honour, Erkan Mustafa, who played Roland in TV's Grange Hill, will cut the ribbon and get it all going.

13.30 – 14.10 Event 1: Rolling with Roland
Participants will make their way up the gently landscaped roof of Grassroots and roll downwards. We will clear the ground of poo and litter beforehand. There may or may not be different rounds for extravagant rolling, slow rolling, backwards rolling and free- style rolling.

14.10 – 14.50 Event 2: Twirling
Cheap and Porky will perform a choreographed ribbon gymnastic routine on the paved area in front of Grassroots for the delight of the Fattylympics attendees. After this, the pair will open the floor to some freestyle ribbon action for all to enjoy.

14.50 – 15.30 Event 3: Spin-off
Participants will remain on the paved area and will be given specially-constructed Spinning Hats by Simon. They will spin in three rounds, getting faster each time. Upon completion of the spin a Dizz-o-Meter will be produced, upon which participants will measure the depth of their dizziness. A quiet place to sit down, and a bucket in case of 'upsets' will be provided.

15.30 – 16.10 Event 4: Spitting on the BMI
Charlotte will encourage everyone to spit on a lovely big 'scientific' copy of the Body Mass Index chart with style and gusto.

16.15 – 17.00 Closing Ceremony
Thanks! Medals for everyone! Music! Collapse!